


Danny Faces the Phans

by wastefulreverie



Series: PhannieMay Shots 2018 [18]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Funny, Gen, Humor, It's not gay if he's dead, Phandom - Freeform, Poor Danny, Ship Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17234105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastefulreverie/pseuds/wastefulreverie
Summary: After losing a bet with Sam and Tucker, Danny unwillingly attends a session of Casper High's 'Danny Phantom Phan Club'.





	Danny Faces the Phans

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for day 19 of PhannieMay 2018 - Phandom.

By this point, Danny should know not to start stupid bets with his friends, which made his inevitable fate a lot more painful. The bet had been predictable, yet Danny still fell for Sam and Tucker's trap. In retrospect, he really _was_ gullible.

The bet had been if Danny could go a day without having to use his ghost powers. The conditions were that he was allowed to use them in ghost fights, but he wasn't allowed to rely on them at all besides that. Which meant, no flying to school, no turning invisible to get out of the way, and no turning intangible to open his locker. When the bet had been made, Danny was confident he could go a day without subconsciously relying on his powers, so he hadn't really worried about the price of failure. That had been his first mistake.

“I don't know why both of you are betting against me,” Danny rolled his eyes. “I went fourteen years without superpowers, I can go a day without them.”

Sam snorted, “No you can't. The other day you took a bite of hot macaroni, and instead of spitting it out, you turned your head intangible.”

“I have the video proof,” Tucker added.

“So what? My powers are convenient sometimes. That doesn't mean that I _can't_ live without them.”

“Yeah, but you're you,” Tucker said. “Just admit already, you've already lost this bet, dude.”

“I hope you remember that we tried to warn you when you're suffering next Thursday,” Sam smirked.

The deal of the bet was that if Danny lost, he would have to attend Casper High's Danny Phantom 'Phan' Club for an entire session. If Sam and Tucker lost, they would have to come with Danny on the next Fenton family camping trip. Both were horrible punishments – and neither party was willing to back down.

Soon, came the actual day of the bet. Personally, Danny though he'd been up to a good start. Instead of phasing through the floor to get to the kitchen, he walked down the stairs. Instead of flying to school, he rode the bus for one of the first times since the accident. Instead of going invisible when Dash walked through the doors to school, he let himself be seen and thrown around a little bit. Instead of intangibly getting his books from his locker, he had to listen to the lock to open his locker without his combination (he had long forgotten it). However, in third period his ghost sense went off and he had to go discreetly transform, but he managed to capture the ghost quickly and resume the bet.

Proudly, Danny lasted the entire school day without using his powers. Until, when he was running up the stairs to his bedroom with Sam and Tucker, he accidentally slipped on the top step, and caught himself with a bout of levitation.

Needless to say, Sam and Tucker didn't let him live it down, and he was crushed when he realized that he actually had to go through with his end of the bet. Most of Danny's fans were supportive of him and tolerable, but the group called the 'phandom'... they were certifiably insane at times. The Casper High 'Phan' Club was lead none other than the queen psycho herself, Paulina Sanchez. Silently, he prayed for his sanity as he ignored Sam and Tucker's triumphant laughter.

* * *

 The day of the club meeting, Danny tried to be as late as Sam and Tucker would let him. The meeting started at 3:15, so he made sure to show up no less than two minutes late. His two 'chaperons' dropped him off outside of the classroom the meeting was held in, and glared at him threateningly.

“We'll be on campus the entire time,” Sam warned. “We have the Fenton Ghost Tracker and we'll know if you move from the classroom, at all.”

“I'm also in direct contact with Mikey and he'll tell me if you leave, at all,” Tucker added. “So don't try to outsmart us by flying up to the roof so you still appear on the tracker. FYI, that wouldn't work anyway, since your parents upgraded this version to show GPS and altitude.”

“You guys really thought this out,” Danny said, amazed. “You really _do_ want to torture me.”

“Hey, you lost the bet,” Sam shrugged. “We're just making sure you go through with your promise.”

“Assholes,” Danny muttered.

“We try our hardest,” Tucker grinned. “Now go play nice with the other kids, they don't bite, unless you're Danny Phantom. Oh, wait...”

“Seriously, go to Hell.”

Finally, Sam and Tucker pushed him inside the clubroom and he was faced with twenty unimpressed stares. Most of the people were sitting in the first few rows of desks, while Paulina and Star (president and vice president of the club) were standing up at the front, where the teacher usually gave lectures. Danny observed with dread that there were a few people wearing t-shirts with his face on them, and laughed nervously as he awkwardly joined his classmates. He noticed that the girl to boy ratio was about two girls for every one guy, but he was relieved it wasn't _only_ girls; that would be even more humiliating.

Paulina and Star apparently hadn't started the meeting yet, and were whispering to each other at the front of the room. Paulina was reading notes off of her cell phone, and Star was making suggestions to her. After about another minute of this, Paulina took to the teacher's podium and smiled.

“Alright, guys. I want to thank you all for coming to the twenty-first weekly meeting of the Danny Phantom 'Phan' Club! I know it's hard, since exams are coming up in a few weeks, but I'm glad all of you could make it! Anyway, today we have some fun stuff planned. We're up for our usual ship discussion, Laura has some new evidence that may help us figure out who Phantom was before he died, and we have the rest of the time devoted to snacks and working on our list. But first,” she paused, grinning a little, “it looks like we have a first timer,” Paulina gestured to Danny. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat when the attention was brought back to him. “Would you stand up, Fenton? We have an initiation for all of our new members.”

Danny didn't like the sound of 'initiation'. But, everybody was staring at him expectantly, inexplicably smiling, thus, he had no choice but to go along with whatever it was.

Star approached him with a wadded up, overlarge, black t-shirt, and held it out towards him. “Put it on,” she said simply. Cautiously, Danny took the shirt from her and actually looked at it. In chunky white letters, the shirt was captioned with _'It's not gay if he's dead'_ and completed with his logo. He had to read it over a few times to understand what it was implying, and once it dawned on him, he wanted nothing more than to burn it with a handful of ectofire. But since he was unable to do that, Danny roughly swallowed, and tried to convince himself that he could still come out of this with his dignity intact.

With everything inside him screaming not to do it, Danny pulled the demeaning shirt over his regular shirt and sat down without a protest.

He was going to kill Sam and Tucker for dragging him into this.

“Alright,” Paulina chirped, “now we can officially start today's ship discussion! As you guys know, there's a lot of girls, and a few guys, around Amity that we've paired Phantom with, but today's discussion will be about just the main OTPs. Of course, that includes Phantom and me; the ghostly pop singer, Ember McClain; Gregor Palinski, the goth boy that also goes by Elliot; the mysterious Red Huntress; and our star-crossed lover, Jazz Fenton.”

Danny almost choked, “J – Jazz?”

Most of the people they paired him with, he was very objectified to. After all, he'd finally gotten over his crush on Paulina, Ember and Gregor were his enemies (plus, he didn't lean that way, despite what his shirt said), and Valerie hated Phantom's guts. But Jazz... that was crossing the line. The was his his freaking sister, after all! Of course, he supposed nobody else in the room knew that.

“Yeah,” Star explained, “your sister suspiciously has a _lot_ to do with Phantom. It's weird, but she's been seen with him around Amity Park like, a lot. I don't know if you're aware what Jazz does, Danny, but she's been even seen patching Phantom up after ghost attacks. Not to mention, Phantom carries around a lot of your family's weapons, so that means Jazz must've given them to him. And, she's also a really big fangirl. I have a friend who's confirmed that she keeps this Phantom scrapbook in her locker and there's a rumor that Phantom took selfies with her! Tell me that doesn't just scream that they're together. All the evidence is there.”

Danny supposed that they were right, there was a lot of evidence that proved Jazz had a somewhat close relationship with Phantom. But they were just siblings, so of course she was going to help him out when he was hurt, and who cared if they took selfies together?

“Jazz X Phantom is so OTP,” a girl swooned. Danny didn't know what that even meant, but the way she said it scared him. “They're the Romeo and Juliet of the Phandom. She's from a family of ghost hunters, and he's a ghost. Forbidden love can't be more poetic than that....”

He threw up in his mouth a little.

“Please, we all know that the real forbidden love ship is Phantom X Red Huntress,” Lester rolled his eyes. “She seems like she wants to kill him, but under that angry facade and armor, is potential romance.”

“Phantom and Huntress are a horrible match,” another girl argued. “If you're going to pair him with someone he fights, ship him with Ember. They fight each other, but it's never really in hatred, she just fights him because he tries to send her back into the Ghost Zone. Under the right circumstances, they could totally fall for each other. And since they're both ghosts, that probably makes them even more compatible.”

“Yeah, but Ember's too full of herself, unlike me,” Paulina said, ignorant to her hypocritical defense. “Plus, Phantom saves me, like, _all_ the time. That proves he likes me.”

Danny groaned. He only had to save Paulina so often because she purposely threw herself into danger so he'd have to save her. This conversation was honestly driving him into insanity. It hadn't even been five minutes and he was already prepared to smash his head into a wall, repetitively.

“I think you're a little too biased, Paulina,” Mikey snorted.

“Think what you will,” she said, “but it's true. He at least likes me, so that means, one day, he'll love me.”

“I think we're all missing the real number one ship,” the girl named Laura interrupted. “Gregor X Phantom is a literal gem. They're both white-haired hotties and they look so good together, and not to mention that it has the best fanart.”

“Shut up, Laura,” the 'Ember shipper' said, “you're the only one who ships them because you're obsessed with yaoi.”

“Yaoi is an _artform_.”

“Guys, can we not to other people to shut up?” Star mediated. “Even if you don't agree, everybody's opinion must be respected because this is a group discussion.”

The two girls glared at each other, before the ship conversation continued. Unfortunately for Danny, it dragged on for another ten minutes before Paulina called that they were moving on to their next activity. This 'phandom' was even worse than he had initially expected. It was even worse that everybody here was objectifying his ghost half, despite the fact that was standing right there, and nobody could know. He wondered what they all would do if he revealed his secret to them right there, and how they would react. Of course, he would never be so irrationally stupid, but it was a tempting thought, just to watch their horrified reactions.

When the meeting continued, Laura began her presentation on how Phantom could have been part of a government conspiracy during the Cold War, trained to fight Russians. However, he was in an accident (explaining the HAZMAT suit), and his sense of justice transferred over to his ghost, allowing him to become Amity's teenage hero. Funny enough, the accident part wasn't that far off from the truth, but he thought the Cold War detail was a little interesting though. Honestly, it wasn't that mediocre of a theory, and it could certainly hold some veracity.

“Okay, so now we can work on our list,” Paulina announced. She noticed Danny's confused look and elaborated. “Since you're new, Danny, I guess I'll fill you in. All of us are working on a plan to interview Phantom. We have an entire strategy on how to get him alone, and how to persuade him to agree to telling us information. We've figured out that he's secretive and doesn't like talking about himself, so we had to come up with a scenario where he'd willingly give us information. But our list that we're working on, is the questions that we plan on asking him. Right now we've got about thirty approved questions, but now we're trying to order them by importance, so we can decide what's most crucial to ask him.”

She showed him a piece of paper full with less than legible cursive script. “I know it's hard to read, but it's all on here if you want to see what we have. Also, if you can think of any new questions, let us know. We're trying our best to make this _perfect_.”

Danny wasn't as shocked as he should've been that they were plotting to corner him and force him to answer their questions. He legitimately expected nothing less from these lunatics at this point. So, if they were going to attempt to interrogate him, he figured he might as well look at their questions so he could get a decent idea on how to avoid them beforehand. As he slowly read the messy writing, he was less and less impressed by the lack of creativity put into the questions.

_Question 1: Do you have a girlfriend and/or crush and who?_

_Question 2: Who were you before you died?_

_…_

_Question 9: Do you have any exes?_

_…_

_Question 13: What's your ideal partner?_

_…_

_Question 20: Is white your natural hair color?_

After reading about two-thirds into the questions, Danny was so deprived of common sense he couldn't bring himself to read any more. He gave a light-heartened, completely fake smile, and handed Paulina the paper back. God, how he wanted for this meeting to just _end already_. He couldn't believe that he was being forced to stay here the entire time just because some stupid bet. This was way too much punishment from just a bet. He was physically just over all of this bullshit and he wanted to fly away and never look anybody in the eyes again because this was just way too traumatic.

Danny was scarred from this.

When the meeting finally ended, and everyone dispersed, Sam and Tucker found Danny curled up in a desk, sitting in the clubroom alone. Someone had turned the lights out, and Danny was just sitting there, absolutely defeated.

“Hey,” Tucker said, nudging Danny's shoulder, with genuine concern. They had expected Danny to be angry, but not... so broken looking. “Are you alright, dude?”

“Never...” he whispered. “Never again. Don't make me every do anything like this from now on. I'll never forgive you.”

“It couldn't have been _that_ bad,” Sam said, in disbelief.

Danny looked up at her, “Someone brought cupcakes with my face on them, and I had to watch Paulina shove one down her throat. _My face_ , Sam. A – and they want me to date my sister and like... it's too much.”

“Wait, you and Jazz? Ew,” Tucker gagged.

“I had to pretend like I wasn't grossed out,” he said. “It was hell.”

Sam, realizing that he was serious, looked at him sympathetically. “Do you... do you want us to walk you home?”

Danny shifted in his chair like a small child and considered her offer.“That'd be great,” he replied. “As long as we talk about something besides _me_ , I think I'll be fine.”

 


End file.
